Stuck in a prism of repetitive experiences. It’s all too curious and I’m worried that I won’t heed the lesson I keep coming back to learn.

I speak to the heavens almost daily and say I am ready. Do they hear or merely domineer?

Steer clear of another contract. I’m feeling so weary today. Don’t they know that?

What is grace and can we recognize when the gods begin to show it? And, does it slip away as fast as one begins to know it.

Like an orgasm starting to peak, only to be lost in an anticlimactic scene. Was it me or them? My thoughts distract like a hot pin poking at the fleshy bits of the past. I’m absent again. Until you ask where I’ve gone and the sadness I feel because you knew all along that I couldn’t be present, not for you or myself.

Is this the lesson? To conquer a mind, learn how to love, learn how to be kind? To my spirit, my soul, my body – before I get too old and I have to repeat this journey again

and again.

-Able Elba